Lately, I have been comforted by a fictional character, Aoba Seragaki from the game DRAMAtical Murder.
I discovered him in youtube way waaaay before I decided to play the game.
At first, I just have a crush on him, nothing big. Just being a normal Fan Girl who loves pretty boys.
Nothing new to me... I guess.
That changed though, by a landslide.
I have been going through a lot of drama, but that's life. Heck I bet there's someone out there going through a lot more than I'll ever be. Not saying that's a good thing but it's just how it is. In life, as long as you are living it, there is bound to be complications. If there wasn't then you'd probably be dead. That's just how it is. You can be happy one second and the next you feel like you are dying. Especially for artists. Not saying we're all the same, but based from my friends who are artists, it seems that we are a very emotional bunch of people. Sometimes being emotional is a good thing, but sometimes it's not.
For example, at some points in my life, I would rather have no emotions at all. If I don't have them to begin with, I won't care.
Thus, problems here and there.
Have you, ever felt that feeling that nothing is working? Not the help of your friends' advice or the comfort of food. Heck, not even the usual stress relievers seem to work like games, anime, movies, tv series...tumblr. (Dun dun duuuun)
Well, I was going through one of those problems that doesn't seem to go away as much as you try your hardest to do something about. But life kicks you in the face and tells you that nothing's gonna work.
I was lying down in my bed.
My sister just turned the lights off and goes to her bed. I was already in bed, thinking about how I can get my mood back and be happy again... since a crappy mood is never good when you go to work the next day.
So there I was, alone in my own world...my own thoughts.
Until I felt someone hug me from behind.
It was warm and comforting, closing my eyes as I see this fictional character who just randomly pops in my head and I just saw him, silently hugging me from behind as I slowly drift into a deep sleep.
I was shocked though, I mean I have this long list of crushes, fictional, celebrities, you name it... I have them all. And Aoba wasn't any special. If there was someone, it would've been Taylor Lautner or Toma Ikuta... but it was Aoba. I mean, come on... I only watched short vids of him in youtube!?
But ever since then, I couldn't stop thinking about Aoba.
And it happened again.
When I'm in this vulnerable state and I can't do shit about it, he would pop in my head to comfort me. Not with words, but with action. A gentle hug from behind. And it works.
Then I would day dream about him. All we would do is walk hand in hand, sit beside each other, hug... and nothing beyond that. I would feel comforted, and warmth would envelop my mind and soon...my body. Obviously he isn't real, and he's not really with me. But I don't mind it though. Why?? Well, because... he comforts me...in a sense.
I wonder sometimes... if my imagination is that wild that I can actually feel him next to me. Does the brain work so well that as much as perceive it to be, soon it actually becomes sort of real? That as long as I make him real inside my head, he will be?
Am I the only one?
I don't think I'm crazy though. I mean... it's not like I hear voices or "I see dead people" kind of things. More on, I imagine him, day dream, think of him, dream about him at night. I know that he only exist inside my head... and...heh, other things.
Eventually I played the game, and that did wonders.
If you play the game, you'll understand what I mean because of the story.
Obviously as an artist, if you start drawing someone, let it be a celebrity, a friend/crush, fictional character or the like... you know that you are in love with this person you are drawing. I mean, why spend hours of drawing, sketching and coloring for someone right?
If you see my Gallery, haha.... well you'll know that I am also in love with Aoba.
Aaaaaaaand I am blabbing like a love sick fool.
Why did I write this again?? Here in a public place as a journal where people can read it???? Well I doubt no one would read this. I haaave no idea... ahaha...haha....ha.... yeah I'm probably bored.
Here is a sample of my love sick state..dfgksdhgjhdsgfkjhsfg